Empowerment. Engagement. Authenticity.
When I Was a... - Course of Life
When I was a teenager in the early 90’s, I spent
my lunch hours in the school bathroom, not wanting to be the only one
sitting alone in the cafeteria. For the first month, I was terrified the
teachers monitoring the halls would discover me and disapprove, but they
only smiled as I went in and again when I emerged.
“Had a good lunch?” they’d ask, their pasted-on smiles not reaching
their eyes.
“Yes, thanks.” And I would hustle back to class.
I often fantasized that someone would link arms with me when the lunch
bell rang and whisk me off to the corner store for chocolate. Instead, I
listened to giggling girls swish into the bathroom, compare lipsticks,
squeal over boys and swish out again. Then the room would be quiet, save
for a whirring fan and the occasional creaking pipe.
Who was I kidding? I wasn’t even worthy of the insults etched into the
side of the Pepto-Bismol pink stall. I was the girl with Coke-bottle
thick glasses who sat in the front row and used a “stick” to get around.
I still remember the nightmare of art class, where desks in pods of four
put me face to face with some of my tormentors.
“Guys, guys…imagine…me and Kristy having sex.” Across from me, Wayne’s
mouth twisted in disgust and his two friends bent over, making retching
sounds. I concentrated hard on the poor imitation of an orchid I was
painting. Probably no one would want to have sex with me ever, I thought
viciously.
In 2009, I sat in a similar pod discussing ways to improve classroom
climate. It was the fourth course – in as many weeks – of an accelerated
six-week instructor diploma program. Across from me sat Nicole and
Claire.
“Oh my gosh, you’re from Trinidad?” Nicole had gushed on our first day
of the first course. “My parents are from there.”
Claire had taken the paper I was proofreading for a student out of my
hand. “You’re not spending lunch in here doing that. We’re going to the
cafeteria.”
And they each linked an arm with mine.
The three of us are certified adult instructors now, with a passion for
diversity. We’re told high schoolers are a different breed but I
disagree. That’s a cop out for teachers unwilling to set boundaries and
expectations in their classrooms.
I vow that will never be me.
When I Was A...
Looking back at a certain time in your life can be inspiration for writing.
